The Bullshit Diet (BS Diet) is about living in line with your values so that you can be authentic by making a conscious effort and choice to not only stop accepting every waking thought, assumption, desire and belief as fact and necessary, but to also reduce BS such as people pleasing, excuses, rumination, and rationalising other people’s behaviour and blaming it on you.
The BS Diet in short, is about minimising the amount of BS in your life so that you can have good self-esteem and be happier.
If you’re miserable, if you feel like you have little or no choices, if you keep finding yourself in variations of the same situation, it’s directly proportional to the amount of BS you have in your life, hence if you want to improve your self-esteem, if you want to achieve more happiness, you need to face the truths in your own life and actions so that you can exact change over what you can control – you.
Since September 2005, I (Nat Lue) have been authoring a blog Baggage Reclaim where I explore unhealthy relationships and the direct link to how we feel about ourselves and how we can offload our baggage and rediscover the great person that already exists within us. Read by over 550K unique users a month, it’s inspired by everything I learned from my own experiences in shady relationships and transforming my life, as well as my observations. Eight years on and inspired by realisations I continue to have in my own life, I wanted to create a blog dedicated to talking about self-esteem in general, not just around relationships. Many of the ideas I share over on Baggage Reclaim are applicable to all aspects of life, not just romantic relationships and so The BS Diet is not only exploring what BS is and helping people to drop the dead weight out of their lives and to step away from toxicity, but to discuss what self-esteem is and keep striving for ways to greater understand ourselves and exact change in our lives.
Background to how I ended up on a BS Diet
On July 28th 2005, I found a lump in my neck on my 28th birthday that signalled that my immune system disease Sarcoidosis was ‘back’ barely two months after finishing a year long course of steroids. That night I had my birthday dinner with the Mr Unavailable (emotionally unavailable) that I’d been having a barely there five month relationship with. It felt like he was doing it to tick a box and between not really giving a damn when I informed him about the lump and overhearing him correct the waiter (who had met us both there a few times) by telling him that we were “…er…just friends…”, I was quietly making some uncomfortable realisations. Unbeknownst to me, the wheels were already being set in motion for a major epiphany.
In August 2005 a number of seemingly unrelated events occurred that were triggered by my birthday:
- I was informed that I would need to go on steroids for life or keel over at 40. Shocked but suddenly slapped into paying attention to myself and wanting to fight for me, I refused there and then, much to the irritation of my doctors. I explained that I was going to pursue other options before making such a commitment and that if I wasn’t getting better, I would start the steroids. I walked out having no clue what those alternatives were but nonetheless galvanised into valuing my life. I never did need those steroids by the way and was in, and have remained in remission since April 2006.
- I ended it with Mr Unavailable. I stopped making excuses and I stopped procrastinating out of fear of conflict and ‘getting it wrong’. While talking I said “What makes you think that I would be the type of woman that would put up with this?” and it hit me like a thunderbolt – because I was the type of woman that would put up with it. This had been a major source of bullshit throughout my entire relationship history.
- I started taking proper care of myself and went to see a kinesiologist (bit like acupuncture without needles). I went to find out if I was intolerant/allergic to certain foods and left there discovering that I was full of anger, resentment, blame, shame and a lack of forgiveness going all the way back to childhood, plus I had a number of food intolerances depressing my immune system. I threw myself into changing my diet and forgiving myself and my parents.
- After ending it with the Mr Unavailable, I casually mused out loud on my then personal blog that I seemed to have a penchant for unavailable men. I thought I was unusual – my comments box said otherwise and my inbox swelled with emails from women around the world saying that they were just like me.
I experienced a major epiphany – not only did I always find myself in unavailable relationships but it wasn’t that I was experiencing an extended run of ‘bad luck’ and in actual fact I was the common denominator.
It didn’t mean I was responsible for other people’s behaviour, but it was time to ask what I was bringing into every situation – very low self-esteem and unhealthy beliefs. Everything that I was realising about the people I’d been involved with, I saw things in me that were ‘in sync’ – I was shocked when I realised that not only was I emotionally unavailable but that I had commitment issues which I hid behind those of the people I was involved with.
Ever since then, I have been sharing the insights gained from looking at my own behaviour and thinking along with the contributing factors, as well as using what I’ve been doing to help inspire people to transform their own lives and relationships.
I’ve learned to not only like and love myself, but to be responsible and accountable for my own life instead of feeling helpless and immersed in BS of my own making and that of others. Over the years as many thousands of stories have been shared with me, I’ve come to realise that we do have a rather nasty habit of bullshitting ourselves to extraordinary lengths, so much so that I advised readers in early 2011 that they needed to go on a BS Diet and have continued to teach people to get into reality.
I’ve written several ebooks, two of which I’ve self-published in print (Mr Unavailable and the Fallback Girl and The No Contact Rule), I have been writing my blog, ebooks etc full time since January 2008 and have helped hundreds of people improve their self-esteem and change their habits with my ecourses since July 2012.
Barely eight months after I embarked on my self-esteem journey, I met my now husband and we have two daughters together, 4 and 6. I’ve appeared in various national and international media including Sky News, various BBC Radio shows, Red Magazine, Looks magazine, Cosmopolitan (online) and some print in various countries, as well as speaking at women’s conferences. I’m also founder of Bambino Goodies, one of the largest lifestyle sites for cool stuff for kids in the UK amongst a few other things that keep me busy. I live in Caterham, Surrey which is on the outskirts of London.
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- ‘Should I say something?’ When you can’t decide if you should be honest about something
- There’s no need to be the BS police