The Bullshit (BS) Diet is about minimising the amount of BS in your life so that you can have good self-esteem and be happy by keeping the amount of dishonesty in your life – especially any dishonesty that affects what you have 100% control over; you – to a minimum.
It means no deceiving yourself on an ongoing basis, no living in LaLa Land with a fur coat of denial and rose tinted glasses, no pretending to be and feel things that you don’t, and certainly no normalising bad behaviour. There is a reason why I say ‘ongoing basis’ – there’s nothing wrong with having a little BS in your life when you see it for what it is and you don’t allow it to have an adverse affect on you or others. For instance, I keep BS-ng myself that I’m going to become an early riser to get more out of my day but I now laugh at me and go “Yeah yeah Nat!”
There are many sources of BS in our lives, but the chief sources:
- People pleasing. If ever there was a major source of bullshit, it’s this idea that we don’t have needs, expectations and wishes, or that ours can and should be put on the backburner to appease others and that by doing so, we’ll somehow have the very needs, expectations and wishes that we ignore and don’t represent, met by all of the people that we’re overgiving to. This also covers the avoidance of conflict, criticism, disappointment and rejection, which is a dodgy pursuit in the first place.
- Excuses which get mixed up as reasons as well as rationalising with projection and over-empathising.
- Rejection and seeing everything that doesn’t go our way as rejection and hanging onto it by reliving the rejection over and over again. It’s also the self-rejection that many of us engage in.
- Inconsistency including mismatched actions and words which not only convey what’s really going on but when we’re doing it, it causes us to live outside of our values and bust our own boundaries. This includes Those Who Doth Protest Too Much, you know when someone loves giving it the big talk and is often hot out the gate but then underdelivers.
- Deception. Denial which we use to shut out what we deem to be unpalatable truths or difficult feelings and opting for a more favourable but damaging illusion alternative. Lies – our own and those of others. Playing ‘let’s pretend’ including not being ourselves and acting happier than we feel.
- Fantasising by spending too much time in our imaginations by being in the past or future but missing out on the present. This also includes assumptions that have no basis and aren’t being readjusted with reality to become knowledge. Some people actually think assumptions are knowledge.
- ‘Hoarding’ – blame and shame which often lead to ruminating and obsessing but what they don’t lead to is responsibility or moving forward. This includes excess baggage that we carry around from our pasts that we have not processed and continue to blame ourselves for and/or blame others.
- Downplaying things that we really shouldn’t be which either undermines good things or has us waking up knee deep in unhealthy situations and wishing that we’d heeded the code red alert.
- Unhealthy beliefs especially those that affect what we believe we’re capable of and limit us. This includes adopting helpless positions and saying that we have no choices while often victimising ourselves.
- Busting our own boundaries including not saying NO to ourselves and others even when we should. This includes Sheeping – buying into the BS that get’s peddled to us in the media and society that we then internalise by holding ourselves up to unrealistic standards all while at the same time not living by our own values and designating faceless people with their own agendas to be the experts in our lives.
- Trying to lead a No Decisions Lifestyle and being afraid to admit mistakes while often getting very hung up on ‘failure’.
- Running ourselves down often while pumping others up, as well as not having our own opinion on things so persistently seeking external validation while never validating ourselves.
- Playing the insanity game – sticking with habits that aren’t working and remaining in our uncomfortable comfort zones yet still expecting different results. It’s also the frustration that comes with procrastination that’s begun to take its toll on you.
- Pedestal building. The way some of us regard and treat others, we’re near to being groupies or even guilty of worshipping a false idol! When we blow smoke up people’s bums, we’re making out like they’re so much greater than they are, when in reality, they’re just not that special that it warrants this malarkey and even worse, selling you short in the process.
A BS Diet stops you from being a participant in unhealthy situations and continuing with a line of thinking or behaviour that isn’t working for you. The diet itself is the act of learning to be more realistic and truthful, to match actions with words while living by your own values not those of others, to be responsible for your own life and actions instead of putting it on others or taking the blame for Other People’s Behaviour, being available and feeling all of your feelings, and ultimately doing things that nurture you and leave you feeling happy beyond the moment.
When you’re on a BS Diet, you learn to be your authentic self instead of the BS version of you.
It’s working off the simple premise that if you keep doing more of the things that make you genuinely feel good and nourish you, you will grow. If you persist at things that aren’t working for you and in fact detract from your life yet are continuing to expect a payoff of feeling good, you will continue to feel bad.
This blog explores how to cut down the BS in your life while also highlighting ways to improve your self-esteem so that you can live your life authentically and happily. I’d be bullshitting you if I said you’ll be happy 24/7 but especially as we live in a time when BS has never been so prevalent or so easy to spread, you will find that you’re not only more content but then when life’s inevitable bumps and struggles come along, you’ll be far more equipped to navigate them.
- Sofa Outrage – When people get outraged for the sake of being outraged
- When we lose our integrity in a relationship, we lose our ability to be emotionally available
- A comparison site for humans: Is Facebook affecting your BS levels, happiness and self-image?
- ‘Should I say something?’ When you can’t decide if you should be honest about something
- There’s no need to be the BS police